I’ve been listening to a lot of nirvana lately, unplugged, which seems an apt metaphor for how long ago the unrequited love thing feels to the real deal that I find myself in now. Howling to the moon no longer seems as immediate as it used to.

My most famous love is still a love of sorts, but now in a purely pla­tonic way. I am lucky that most all of my girlfriends or girl ‘mates’ are good looking. I fancy myself as an aesthete you see. So what I’m trying to say is that all my girlfriends, I could definitely imagine being in bed with. But that’s only a fantasy, a construct you make up in your mind. Given a little rope you go hang yourself. Meanwhile you do have a fantastic friendship to hang your hat on.

Anyway so I meet this girl at first year university, she is mind-blow­ing. Gorgeous and angelic like, with a magnetism and body posture that leads your mind astray. She flirts with lots of guys, but probably not in a power tripping want to sit on your cock kind of way. She just is, you know. So we get along fantastically, great conversation, connections all around, just why won’t she knock on my door at 3am? So you’re in the state of suspended animation, there but not quite, a boyfriend in all senses of the word, except the physical intimate one. Was she blind to my inadequate advances, stupid bitch?

This goes on for a long time, and her old boyfriend comes to town, naturally I despise the fucker, but we all seem to get along well with this girl as the social glue between us. Meanwhile I’ve befriended this other guy, we get along well and both know we are friends for a long time. We’re all partying and taking drugs, and end up as this weird foursome. And its all looking like it’ll turn to shit very shortly. I’ve let my friend meet this girl, and then its all on between them, you just know that I’ll be knocking back a dozen and proposing a threesome before their wedding. The former boyfriend drops off the planet, only to surface back again and now we get along great, work together and party, talk about old times and that girl. My infatuation and my friend, both my good friends actually, know they’re treading on heart strings and I take my hat off to them for walking so well. Things have come around nicely, I was whacked for a time, but we now have an easy understanding and a stronger bond for our shared heritage. These guys even have a painting of mine, which is about her, which he doesn’t know is about her, its one of my best works.

core | reset | home
38•05