He was first person I was in love with and aware of it.

I was 16 or 17 then. I was in high school and he was a new pupil in our class. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was very quiet and on his own and had almost no friends. He tried to make a statement with his style and wore peculiar looking old clothes. It was an art high school, so it was more than accepted. He had a talent in painting and he started to make music with his band. He was still not talking to many people, and that made him appear very mysterious and interesting to me. We had the same way to school and we went often by the same bus and chatted a bit. I was really happy every time I had a chance to talk to him. I guess I was one of the few people he ever communicated with from school.

He had his birthday in the beginning of September. It was the last year in high school and he didn’t invite me. Next day I was told the only girl he invited was his new girlfriend, he had met in a rock festival the same sum­mer. It broke my heart and I wrote that date with black letters on my wall, next to the day when Kurt Cobain shot himself. He was together with this girl for 7 years.

He had his birthday in the beginning of September. It was the last year in high school and he didn’t invite me. Next day I was told the only girl he invited was his new girlfriend, he had met in a rock festival the same summer. It broke my heart and I wrote that date with black letters on my wall, next to the day when Kurt Cobain shot himself. He was together with this girl for 7 years.

I became friends with him later and realized he was the most ego centric person I had ever met. He just hated most people for no particular rea­son, that was why he couldn’t communicate with anyone. He also took any favor from any of his very few friends for granted and was never grateful for anything. Most of my other friends didn’t like him at all. He didn’t like them either, of course. I found him quite amusing and he some­times had interesting points of view, although not a sophisticated person. I found him a too absurd and rare creature to get angry with. He was the only person I have ever met, who had to take ecstasy to attend the party. Just not to hate everybody so much.

Somehow we are not friends anymore, it happened quite gradually. Whenever I see him, though not very often nowadays, he looks more sour and lonely than ever and is still wearing strange old clothes. I am re­ally happy now, he didn’t love me back then.

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